Monday, July 7, 2008

Revisiting Goals

So, I've revised my running goals a number of times over the past few years. I've found that there are plenty of circumstances as a mother that affect one's ability to accomplish personal goals. Rather than abandon goals altogether, I've had to modify them to fit with the needs and schedule of my family. It can be frustrating at times- but I know that I cannot do and be everything at one time. I know there are seasons of life and having babies and young children is a pretty intense period of life for all moms, whatever your work schedule is or isn't.

I'm like any mom (or person) who finds herself struggling with 'satisfaction' or feelings of personal achievement in my daily life. It is an oddly common theme in life- we often find what we dreamed about, longed for, and worked towards to be somehow less fulfilling than we imagined. I think we all long for purpose and significance in our lives and when we find ourselves 'tired' of our tasks it is easy to lose sight of the reason we do them.

I run for a lot of reasons and over the past few years, I've run less for speed than for sanity and fitness. I enjoy training for races and setting time goals and pushing my body to do what it hasn't yet done, but....... I don't live to run. I don't live to for any one thing or accomplishment. I don't live to make money, I don't live to for food, although I really enjoy most food. What I live for is glory. Not my glory, but the glory of a living in honor to God.

That changes my goals and affects the choices I make. Because my primary purpose is not 'Meredith's personal happiness', but loving God and loving others, I make my goals fit into those parameters. Of course this is 'ideal' - but our ideas- the ones we hold on to- change and shape us and eventually define us.

I guess I am thinking about this because I have recently discovered that we are expecting our second child. We are thrilled- I am thrilled, but I have to change my running goals again- I didn't get to run a 1/2 marathon this summer, I didn't even get to run a short race this year. It was part of my 'plan' as I turn 30 later in 2008.

I enjoyed running through my pregnancy with Leo, and so far, running with this little one has been just fine. In stead of setting speed goals and distance goals, I'm adjusting and running for fitness and fun! Goals are great, but if they don't fit into the big picture.... they need to be changed!